If God didn’t want people to be bisexual, he wouldn’t have made two sexes…

(Fiona Carey Sept 2006 GCN article)

For the best part of my adolescent life, I went between being convinced (and a bit terrified) that I was gay, to being relieved (but a bit disappointed) that I was (just) straight, to thinking “oh, but I just checked that girl out, so I must be gay” to “wait, he’s pretty cute…maybe I’m straight”, before accepting, at 17, that I was in fact, bisexual. Despite being aware that I was attracted to both sexes from childhood and having crushes on a pretty equal ratio of guys:girls (*sigh* Taylor Hanson, *sigh* Christina Ricci), I never considered that I might be, or that it was ok, to be bi.
A lot of this confusion, I think, can be contributed to the fact that I didn’t want to be bi. Although there are an increasing nu

mber of bisexual role models, such as Pink, Angelina Jolie, Brian Molko and Billie Joe Armstrong, for teenagers coming out today, there is still an overwhelmingly negative image and attitude towards bis. Bisexuals often feel isolated, or that they don’t quite belong to either the gay or straight communities and can be discriminated against by members of both of these communities, who view bisexuality as a less valid sexuality, a transition period or “experimental phase” before deciding on gay or straight. As film and television characters, they are often portrayed as promiscuous, confused nymphomaniacs. I even found Clara, the bisexual character in Liz Gill’s ‘Goldfish Memory’ (2003), a film which was widely praised throughout the gay community for bringing queer issues to a mainstream cinema audience, quite stereotypical.

When I first started going out on the gay scene I was surprised at some people’s reactions when I told them I was bi; many joked (with varying degrees of underlying malevolence) that I shouldn’t worry, everyone goes through a phase of denial, I’d soon become a full blown lesbian, that I wanted to “sit on the fence and eat my cake” (or whatever that cliché is) or that I was really just a straight girl, trying to be trendy.

After coming out to all my straight friends and family, I didn’t feel like coming out all over again to people in the gay community, so I stopped calling myself bi and just used a general gay or queer term when labelling myself was required. I found it really disappointing that a community, which has always proclaimed that you can’t help who you’re attracted to, and that is discriminated against in schools, workplaces and by our own legal system every day, would want to discriminate against, what I thought of as, one of their own.

Interestingly, people seemed to take my bisexuality a bit more seriously when they found out about my involvement in community groups, such as Bi-Irish, Out Youth and Belong To, but even now, friends, who I thought would be a bit more understanding (or at least a bit more tactful), have told me that they “just don’t get it, why can’t you people just choose one or the other??”.
Another factor, which I think contributes to the misrepresentation of bisexual people in society, is the trend in recent years (partially spawned by that kiss between Madonna and Britney), of self professed straight girls, kissing other straight girls to attract the attention of straight guys. While I can’t entirely condemn this behaviour, because I feel that it does, in some way, normalise and de-stigmatise homosexual and bisexual people, I also feel that it undermines and trivialises our sexualities, so they simply become a tool for straight people to use in their mating rituals.

Of all the reasons listed above; negative portrayals of bisexuals in the media, the recent onset of bi-chic, a possible fear of being in a relationship with a bisexual person and not being able to satisfy the “other side” of their sexuality, I think it is the fact that bisexuality is essentially more difficult to define and categorise than homosexuality or heterosexuality, which makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Catholic Ireland of the 1960s and 70s (and indeed 80s) wasn’t quite the free love capital of the world and missed out on the sexual revolution experienced by a lot of western countries during that time. It was only 10-15 years ago that we began revolting, so it is understandable that people will need time to adjust to the effects of this uprising. As they do, hopefully labels, categories and pigeon holes will become less necessary.
If you still want to put me in a box, I’ll settle for the I’m attracted to attractive people one.