I will start off by saying, as a lot of queer girls do, that I have
always known that I am bisexual. I didn’t act upon the notion until I
went to Uni but even there I got distracted by FFW (f*ck as many freshers as
you can in a week). Of course, that week lasted 3 years.

So to be honest I’m only on the scene now that I’ve left Uni.
There’s no more hiding behind socially constructed standards. In
school, you can’t choose the people that are in your class. I never
had the courage or confidence to be any other way, than the socially
accepted, until recent years. I don’t want to live with any unresolved
traumas or repressed wishes. So I’m not joining the mould of ordinary
life.
I came out to all my friends and they’re cool with it. Their
support gave me courage to come out to others. My parents are in their
60’s and have maintained their old fashioned views of mass, marriage
and babies. There’s no need to tell them because they would never be
able to get their heads around it and sure they wouldn’t regard it as
something that they could show off to their friends, which is one of their
past times. I had said to my mom once that I was sick of men and had had
enough. Well she turned around and replied “I hope you’re not a
lesbian”, in a tone of shock and eternal unacceptance. So what she
doesn’t know, won’t hurt her.
I, on the other hand, have accepted my bisexual nature. I like men
because it’s what I’m used to and they’re easy. Ha ha.

I like women also, because I find a woman’s body so sexy. I’m not
going to argue with those who say that bisexuality is just a phase you pass
through. That may be true for some. I don’t know if I will stop liking
men at some stage. But I know for sure that I will always be attracted to
women.

So how or when did this happen? Not every girl who plays with
Barbies, decides that they fancy women. But if you think back to the types
of games you used to play and the roles you used to take, I reckon that it
may give some inkling. When playing happy families, I used to prefer to be
the Dad. If I were to play families now, I’d pretend to be the rebel
lesbian teenager! When I was 6, my favourite game was torture chase. After
all that I still turned out femme!
Anyway, I was twelve when I met the first girl I ever fancied. We were at a
kids disco and she showed me how to do the Lambada. She wore a white outfit,
had long fair, corkscrew hair and a wonderful smile. Oh, I’m dam fond
of that memory.
ACE